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Lets Review the top 20 Songs of July 2021

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#1 Dead


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Posted 07 August 2021 - 10:55 AM

Apparently I am addicted to pain. It's been a bit since the marathon that was the Top 100 songs of 2020 the dumpster fire of a year that gave us pretty much a dumpster fire soundtrack to go with it. So now that the flames have gone out and the dumpster has had a bit of time to cool down, lets dip our toes into the ashes and see what fun awaits us this year. 


I present to you, the top 20 songs of July 2021. (you know since August doesn't really have a top 20 list just yet.) 



#20) Tate McRae, Kahlid - Working



So, just seeing Khalid in the title made me go, ooooh no. Surprisingly this little song wasn't terrible. Neither McRae or Khalid were annoying, it lacked cliches. It was a nice little diddy. Will I remember it after today? Probably not. Bonus points for the video having the re-made Battle Toads game in it for a bit. Speaking of that, there was a bit of product placement throughout the video which is always distracting. I mean when done right it's fine, but when its an obvious product shot straight out of a commercial, its kind of annoying. There may as well be a message saying THIS SONG IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY AQUAFINA, MMMM WATER! GO BUY SOME! Its a bit much. 


That being said, if all I can complain about is some product placement and the presence of Khalid (and a hint of autotune.) Then hey, that's not too bad I guess. 




#19) Doja Cat & The Weeknd - You Right



Oh dear god, Doja Cat is back.  I'm prepping to smash my face in wall to end it quick.. Here we go.... 

Well I have officially discovered the worst Yugi-Oh! card ever. I summon Doja Cat in attack mode!  Oh no she has activated her trap card. With "I've got a man but I want you" your life points are reduced to 3, and all your monsters commit suicide removing them from the field and from play. Your move.... the weeknd. 


The weekend plays a spell card called "Enable cheating" with this card in play you trap card is deactivated but all your monsters stay in the grave yard, because they're better off there. 


So all in all, this is sadly Doja's best song, and its about how she has a guy, but wants another guy and she can't help it that's how it is. Blah. Weeknd shows up to be like "ah girl, I know you're great and you value loyalty, but ride my D*** anyway." 


I guess we're back to dumpster fire for 2021. 



#18) Duncan Laurence - Arcade 



Well that was a lot of man butt that I'll never unsee. So click that link with that in mind.  To the video's credit it was tasteful man butt, but man butt, nonetheless...butt.  Anyway aside from all the butt, the song itself was pretty decent. It gave me Adelle vibes. Short sweet and too the point, it didn't repeat too much, it made a point and it sounded decent. Kudos. 


:)     (  (  }  


(look away!!!)  


#17 Giveon- Heartbreak Anniversary 



Giveon is the newest pokemon in the upcoming game....hold on.... Oh I'm just getting this in... Giveon is not a pokemon.. sorry about that. Onward with the video/song. Right away there are noises that sound like someone trying to take an order at the drive thru speaker. Giveon can apparently sing, although my autotune sensors are activating, but I can't quite tell if its his tone or an auto tune. It doesn't help that apparently he is singing his heart out to the Wendy's  drive thru because that keeps popping up throughout the song.  What is with all the heartbreaky I'm over love songs? Was everyone banging Doja Cat? Why do we need to hear from the fry cook taking the orders? If not for the now getting old theme and the burger time order menu speaker this song could be really nice. However, those are things and this is a rating. 




#16) Nelly and Florida Georgia Line - Lil Bit 



Oh dear god what fresh hell have I invited into my life here? *clicks play*  So you know how you hear about don't date your cousins? That's what this song is. The horrible incest baby of cousins that never should have come together, but did for some ungodly reason. The video is nonsensical and baffling. Nelly is driving his Dodge Ram TM around. Sees a little boy on a trike, pulls over and pulls a perfect Lays TM potato chip out of unrealistic looking bag and eats it. Nelly says nothing, just does this one random baffling product placement stuffed thing, and the little boy looks at the camera like OOOOOOH YEAH I'VE GOT AN IDEA NOW!  What possible idea could anyone have gleamed from that?!  What?! The mere sight of Nelly eating his chips has inspired me to cure CANCER!  THANKS, NELLY!  And don't even get me started on Florida Georgia line, the band who couldn't just pick a state to be in. Their red-neckery is on full display and throughout this whole monstrosity of dance and banjo plucking you can hear them crooning right along with Nelly who sadly is the best part of this.. ugh... If they ever remake Deliverance, this song needs to be on the soundtrack. 




#15 Kid Laroi - Without You



So when this started it had a little bit of angsty rock vibe that I was digging, then it went full Bieber and lost me. "You can't make a wife out of a ho." well someone isn't trying hard enough I guess. Watching the video is kind of sad because this kid can't even pretend to lip sync to his own song convincingly. I don't think he matches the lyrics once the whole time. This song is dumb, the singer looks like a Beiber clone, and we have more than enough of those in this world. Hooray for forgettable schlock. 




#14 Marshmello X Jonas Brothers - Leave Before You Love Me



This song started off right away with a little riff that reminded me of the Cure's Friday I'm in Love. Then it switched into something more like an 80's love ballad. Oddness. It has moments of "I'll be Watching You" by the Police too.  To be honest I got so caught up in the little musical nostalgia riffs that I didn't pay a lot of attention to the lyrics ( which are kinda dumb.) It's a quick little song and aside from reminding me of other songs it didn't do me any favors. 




#13 Regard, Troye Sivan, Tate McRae - You 



Well Tate is back and now she has friends that aren't Khalid. Will this be another okay venture or will it be something more? Let's find out. So apparently the new type of music for the 20's is underwater porn disco rave. Just about every one of these songs has employed some form of echoey underwater lyrical tone with a thumpy drowned out dance beat that sounds a bit too much like porno. In this video Tate has apparently summoned Pinhead's mentally challenged neighbor - mirror shard face. He sings to us about all the files in her computer named YOU which hopefully soon will crash the computer she Quijaed him up on. The video is borderline creepy, the song is stupid, and we get a cameo from Josh at McDonalds again singing a few lines through the speaker at the end.  No, Josh, I don't want an Apple Pie today, thank you. 


:wtf: :meh:


#12 Kali Uchis - Telepatia 



And the underwater disco porn theme continues! Now we have Tapatio er.. Telepatia, from Kali Uchis. Another nonsensical video of her writhing around on the floor like a cat in heat, and singing about how she can read this guy like a book. Sure, whatever. Just cause you throw a little Spanish on it doesn't make it special. That's like throwing Tapatio sauce on some eggs and calling them Juevos Rancheros. No, they're just eggs with hot sauce. This is just TNA with tapatio splashed on it...and also a song, I guess. 




#11 Saweetie ft. Doja Cat - Best Friend          (kill me) 



Why? Why?! This whole song is 'she's my best friend and she can do her own stuff' Great, good for her. Girl power I guess. The entire thing made my ears bleed and I legitimately dozed off in an effort to keep it from reaching my brain I guess. It nicely ended with them jumping naked off a cliff. So points for that. 

Is it WAP bad? No. Is it worth your time? Definitely not. Unless you wanna hear "she's my best friend and she's a real bad b***" on repeat, then be my guest. 




#10 The Weeknd - Save Your Tears



So like Blinding Lights (and that other one that I can't remember the name of at the moment) This video seems to be part of that whole series. The song is more of the same in that vein. Not bad, but not as catchy as blinding lights at all. The video was an interesting watch for sure. I liked the misdirection it gave all the way through. Overall, not bad, but unless it's Blinding Lights, I probably won't remember it 6 months down the line. 





#9 BTS - Butter 



So it's BTS, you know what you're getting at this point. Singy, Dancey, Koreany.  Its BTS! You love 'em or hate 'em and here they are! Yay?  Is this any better or worse than their previous efforts? Not really. You've heard one of their songs you've heard them all. They sing and dance and pander to the camera, and rake in that cash. Every few months or so, just change the old song out for the new one and repeat. Pretty much all this is. Welcome to this quarter's BTS song. Enjoy it until next quarter when something "new" replaces it.  That being said, at least it isn't underwater porn disco or jiggle asses repeating the same lines over and over, and there's a comfort in that that BTS is definitely exploiting. 




#8 Ariana Grande - POV



Prepare for dude cuddles and weird coreography, at one point I thought one of the guys was going to do a Hadoken. As for the song, It's a nice sentiment. I wish I could love me like you love me. I can say I've felt that at least once in my life. I don't know how anyone puts up with me when I can't hardly stand myself some days. Then again, I've grown so accustomed to me that I don't bother myself... so I guess someone else's POV would be a different version of me that I'd have to get used to? Or would it be the same me..  Is one me alive or dead in a box but you'll never know if you open it? It's schrodinger's me? *brain melts* 


As for the song. 




#7 Justin Beiber ft. Daniel Ceasar, Giveon - Peaches



Ugh.. its the Beibs. "I get my peaches outta Georgia, I get my weed from California" ugh. Also we're back to underwater (almost little mermaid UNDA DA SEA sounding at times) porn disco.  We get to hear the peaches line quite a bit, as it's the main hook.  In fact it's pretty much entirely the last half of the song. ugh... shoot me.  It's like music doesn't even have to try anymore. 




#6  Ed Sheeran - Bad Habits 



This video is weirdness. Vampire Ed Sheran flying around looking worse than Queen of the Damned effects and tons of ragdoll physics cg people flopping about. Oook then. It doesn't help that the song evokes serious I'm Blue Da Bo Dee Da Bo DA vibes the whole time. Ed Sheeran looks like Frodo and David Bowie made a parasitic love child....but I can't....look....away... So I guess by day he's normal ol' Ed and by night he's a weird Bowie Vampire with the power to make every rando on the street flop about to Ragdoll early 2000's game physics. Cool then... We've just met the most terrifying vampire ever. 


Oh there was a song in there. I honestly didn't get much from it other than it sounding like Eifel 64. So.. there's that. 


:wtf:    song :meh:


- top 5 coming, doin a save before my comp spazzes again- 




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#2 Dead


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Posted 11 January 2022 - 02:12 PM

aaaand my computer spazzed and I didn't get the last 5 cause it lost the site I was looking at. ugh.. anyway, I'm reviewing the top 100 of this year now, so I'm sure they're on there. (probably.) .... I know some of these are. 

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