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[Iyouboushi]

It's a new year and time for a new thread! w00t.

[Iyouboushi]

The first movie of the year that we watched was....  The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies (2014).

 

Again, I have to state that if you didn't like the first two Hobbit movies you won't like this one.  This one picks up immediately where The Desolation of Smaug (2013) ends, with Smaug attacking Lake Town and continues to the end of the book.

 

And like the other two, there's been some fundamental changes from the book (mostly due to the addition of Tauriel and trying to explore more of how Sauron was cast out of that fortress and back to Mordor).  While the same three characters die as they do in the book, they die in different circumstances.  The movie also focuses mostly towards the battle of the five armies (hence the subtitle of the film)--the battle takes up close to an hour of the movie's 2 1/2 hour running time.  It's impressive but, again, kind of drags on and becomes almost boring at points (because the tension is lost after a while). 

 

Overall though, I did enjoy it.  I've always loved the book and although I feel it's crazy that they split a 300 page book into three nearly 3 hour long movies, I think overall it was worth waiting for and seeing.  Then again, I also really loved the original LotR movies (and their 4 hour extended counterparts lol) and I'm a huge fantasy buff.  I know it's not for everyone.

 

Rating: 7/10

[KuroMa]

I wish I could say time flies but 2014 felt like a really long year to me! Still wish I could have watched more movies though.So before we get the thread rolling, what were your favorite movies in 2014, three people who post (and maybe all the lurkers who come in for the Battle Arena help and end up learning everything we've done throughout the years)? I know Iyou made a Top 5/Bottom 5 list a while ago, any changes you'd like to make?I don't recall watching any especially horrible movies in 2014 so I'll just make a top 3 list, in no particular order: Easter Parade, Ghost in the Shell and Yojimbo tied with A Fistful of Dollars.

[Iyouboushi]

A late reply..but I think Guardians of the Galaxy takes the top spot for the best movie of 2014 that I saw.  Mocking Jay part 1 and The Lego Movie are tied for second place.  Frozen for third place (yes, a Disney film).

 

So far this year.. I've only watched The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies and Rurouni Kenshin: The Legend Ends. Tomorrow I think Bri and I are going to try to see Gone Girl.  If we do I'll come back and talk about it.

[Iyouboushi]

Well, Gone Girl got pushed back to tonight because neither of us were really feeling up to it (and she had to be up at the crack of dawn for work, we didn't realize Gone Girl is almost 2 1/2 hours long).

 

But last night we went and watched Nightcrawler (2014) which is labeled as a neo-noir crime thriller.

 

NIGHTCRAWLER is a thriller set in the nocturnal underbelly of contemporary Los Angeles. Jake Gyllenhaal stars as Lou Bloom, a driven young man desperate for work who discovers the high-speed world of L.A. crime journalism. Finding a group of freelance camera crews who film crashes, fires, murder and other mayhem, Lou muscles into the cut-throat, dangerous realm of nightcrawling - where each police siren wail equals a possible windfall and victims are converted into dollars and cents. Aided by Rene Russo as Nina, a veteran of the blood-sport that is local TV news, Lou blurs the line between observer and participant to become the star of his own story.

 

This is one of those movies that I hadn't heard anything about til Bri showed me a trailer for.  On the outside it didn't seem like a film that I'd actually be interested in, but after seeing the trailer it was a "wow, I have to see that!" kind of films.

 

It starts a little slow but by the end I was on the edge of my seat hooked.  Jake plays a total sociopath who seems like a doormat to begin with.  And this movie really shows you how gruesome nightcrawling can be.  While it's probably not for everyone, I'd recommend it.  Give it a shot and see if you like it.

 

Rating: 8/10

[Iyouboushi]

We finally watched Gone Girl (2014) last night..

 

On the occasion of his fifth wedding anniversary, Nick Dunne reports that his wife, Amy, has gone missing. Under pressure from the police and a growing media frenzy, Nick's portrait of a blissful union begins to crumble. Soon his lies, deceits and strange behavior have everyone asking the same dark question: Did Nick Dunne kill his wife?

 

That description covers about the first hour..ish.. of the 2 1/2 hour long movie.  I can't really talk about it here because it would spoil everything and this is one of those movies that, if you're going to watch it, it's best to remain unspoiled. All I'll say is this..  Light and Aizen couldn't have done it better.

 

And without spoiling.. I don't know whether I should like this film or not.  On one hand it kept me interested throughout the whole thing.  And it was hard for me to guess exactly how it was going to go (which is rare these days in movies).  On the other.. Affleck's acting is a little wooden and there's not a lot of action.  It's all drama.  The same could almost be said of Nightcrawler but there is more action in that one.  Also the ending of this one makes me kind of frustrated (but, of course, can't talk about that without spoilers).

 

It's hard to rate this one.  I guess I'll give it a 6.5/10. 

[Iyouboushi]

On Friday we watched V/H/S (2012). 

 

When a group of misfits is hired by an unknown third party to burglarize a desolate house and acquire a rare VHS tape, they discover more found footage than they bargained for.

 

This movie is sort of like Creepshow in that it's a bunch of short films put together to make up one long film.  The main difference is that there's also an overall plot going on (the misfits breaking in) between all the various shorts--which are segued into the movie by the misfits putting VHS tapes into a player and watching the tapes.  While the main story plot is kind of dumb, the various shorts aren't that bad.  Here's a brief description of each one.

 

Amateur Night

Three friends, really a bunch of horn dogs, install a spy camera into one of the bro's glasses and intend to use it to film an amateur porno.  They head off to a night club/bar area and meet some women, one of which turns out to be a little more wild than they expected.

 

Second Honeymoon

A married couple are on their second honeymoon, traveling to Arizona (it looked like; I think it was the Grand Canyon).  While in their hotel room the first night a strange woman knocks on the door and wants a ride.  The husband sends her away but that night while they're sleeping someone has broken into their hotel room and is messing with their camera.  This one ends with a twist I actually didn't see coming.

 

Tuesday the 17th

Four friends head off into the woods to go visit the old stomping ground of one of the girl's.  Unfortunately for them, it was the previous site of gruesome murders.  Turns out the girl is just using the friends as bait to try and catch the killer, as she had previously survived by no one ever believed her.  This one had the strangest "special effects" when it came to the killer.  It was kind of neat though.

 

The Sick Thing That Happened to Emily When She Was Younger

Emily and her boyfriend James are chatting on a program that looks very similar to Skype throughout this short.  This one starts with Emily complaining about a bump on her arm and progressively gets weirder as she thinks her home is haunted.  As the nights go on the hauntings get worse and it culminates in a weird twist that I had to go back and look at again just to figure out wtf was going on.

 

10/31/98

A bunch of friends are heading to a Halloween party and get lost. They decide to enter a house they think is one of those haunted party houses and eventually discover and interrupt a ritual in the attic.  Things start to go crazy afterwards.  This one had probably the best special effects.

 

 

In all reality, V/H/S could very well be a Bad Movie Monday if it wasn't for all the nudity in it. Having said that, the shorts themselves weren't bad--like I said.  Unfortunately, the quality and acting aren't really up to part in this movie.  There's way too much "shaky cam" -- which I know is on purpose, after all everything is supposed to be home video style and not 'professional' but it starts to make me motion sick after a while.  There were points where I had to pause and look away for a few just to not be sick thanks to the motion. 

 

I did like the twist in Second Honeymoon, I enjoyed the overall plot in 10/31/98, and really liked the killer in Tuesday the 17th.  The rest were..eh.  Anyway..

 

Rating: 6/10

 

 

We did watch V/H/S 2 on Saturday night but I'll post that one in the next post.

[Iyouboushi]

The following day after the first one, we decided to brave V/H/S 2 (2013).

 

Searching for a missing student, two private investigators break into his house and find collection of VHS tapes. Viewing the horrific contents of each cassette, they realize there may be dark motives behind the student's disappearance.

 

So, just like the first, the movie is made up of an overall plot (trying to find the missing student) and a bunch of short films that the detectives watch.  Just like before here's a brief summary of each one:

 

Phase I Clinical Trials
After a car accident a man receives an ocular implant that we, as an audience, see everything from.  After leaving the hospital he begins to see things--paranormal things--at his home.  A fellow patient who was born deaf and has received cocular implants comes to the guy's house to inform him that she can hear ghosts (but can't see them).  The ghosts begin to get more violent as the short goes on until the man just can't take it any more.

A Ride in the Park
Quite possibly the most clever zombie film ever.  This one is about a cyclist who has a Go-Pro cam on a biking helmet.  After he stops to try and help a panicked woman, he is bitten by a zombie and becomes a zombie himself.  The rest of the film is basically a first person zombie film and it culminates in a depressing but somewhat sweet end.

Safe Haven
Perhaps the most disturbing of the short films, this one is about an Indonesian cult and a bunch of guys filming a documentary about the cult.  It starts off normal enough--well, normal enough by cultish standards--but as it goes on the head of the cult initiates the mass suicide and it's all shown.  If the short film had ended there it would have been perfect, but unfortunately they had to try to add in some kind of demonic activity and it gets stupid at the end.

Slumber Party Alien Abduction
The dumbest of all of the short films in the first two V/H/S films, this one is pretty much what the title says.  Teenages attach a camera to the family dog to create videos and after their parents leave for the night it becomes a sister vs brother type deal. That is until aliens show up.  The alien costumes are pretty lame once they're shown in full and ultimately I really disliked the ending of this one.
 

 

The acting and cinematography in this one is MUCH better than the first one.  The trade off is that they break the framing a bit.  In the first one it was pretty believable that the filming was done with the cameras that the characters are holding. In this one the angles change and it suffers from "who edited this all together?"  As the shots aren't continuous or from the same camera, if that makes sense.  Still, that's one trade off I'd rather have as it makes it more interesting and much better. 

 

All of the shorts except the last one are really good this time around.  The main plot is also better but still seems kind of unimportant in the end. Truly, the "Safe Haven" short is pretty disturbing especially in one scene after the mass suicides begin.  Let's just say that particular scene was done fairly realistically and it's not something I'd enjoy seeing over and over again.

 

Rating: 7.5/10.

 

I definitely liked this one a lot more.  It improved on everything.  There's one more V/H/S movie that we haven't seen yet.  Let's hope it's just as good or even better than this one.

[Karman]

Finally watched The Descent & The Descent Part2

 

Very short review...

 

The Descent

If you want to watch a dark movie that you have to squint your eyes the entire time to see, filled with an hour of women screaming in a dark, dank cave system being eaten by badly designed people/creature things that you can barely see; then this movie is for you.

 

The Descent2

Well, read above and toss in a couple of men screaming with the women.

[Iyouboushi]

lol I remember seeing the preview for The Descent and thought it looked pretty bad.  Glad to know I wasn't wrong.

 

 

Last night we watched V/H/S: Viral (2014) aka the third of the series (and so far, the last). 

 

A Los Angeles police chase sends a fame-obsessed man on a wild ride to save his girlfriend from a cybernetic terror.

 

As with the first two, it's another one of those anthology style films.  The basic plot this time is pretty stupid.  A guy is obsessed with filming his girlfriend but after he sees a car chase on TV and notices that it's on his road he decides that he wants to create a "viral video" by filming the chase.  How on earth this is supposed to go "viral" is beyond me.  I doubt many people would tune in to watch a few cars go zooming by your house.  Maybe the writers don't know what viral videos are.  In any case, the dude runs outside and tries to film it but misses it because of his girlfriend, who wanders off and disappears--presumably captured by the person the cops are chasing.  The rest of that plot line is him chasing after the cars trying to catch up.  Meanwhile, other people are seeing videos on their phones (I guess, it isn't entirely clear how the other stories are actually being seen).

 

The other stories are..

 

Dante the Great

Dante the Great was an untalented illusionist until he discovered a cloak once owned by Houdini.  The cloak bestows true magical powers to the man with one stipulation: the cloak is hungry and has to eat people to function.  He begins feeding the cloak some of his assistants until one woman he was working with discovers the tapes of the cloak eating people (Dante, the idiot, filmed it).  He's arrested by the cops but of course escapes.  The rest of it is crazy.  I'll just say that out of the stories in this video this one was my favorite.  It was actually filmed part documentary (about the rise of Dante), part cop interrogation scene, and part wizard's dual.  I liked it.

 

Parallel Monsters

Alfonso is a Spanish-speaking inventor who has created a portal to a mirror universe.  It turns out that his mirror counterpart has also created a portal and after cautiously talking with him, they decide to swap universes for 15 minutes to explore.  At first it seems like the universes are the same except mirrored.  But original Alfonso starts to notice that things aren't quite the same.  It's just the portrait at first but then he discovers the alternate wife wants him to perform a ceremony with him with two other guys as snuff porn is playing in the background.  Then he begins to hear weird sounds outside and, upon inspecting it, sees a large blimp with an inverted cross on it.  The two men turn demonic and attack him, but he manages to flee back to his own universe.  There's other stuff that happens during this but I'll leave it a surprise for anyone who wants to see it.

 

I'm not really sure how to feel about this one.  I liked that this story really had no definitive answers.  I mean, why was the mirror-verse so messed up? What was up with the ceremony (which was never done or shown or explained)?  WTF were those people? These are questions that will never have answers.  The first half was also done rather well with suspense.  You won't really know what's going to happen.  However, I didn't really like the ending to it that much.

 

Bonestorm

The dumbest of the stories, this one is about a trio of skateboarders who perform various stunts as the videographer they hired pushes them into more dangerous circumstances. After being kicked out of multiple places, but not being finished with their video, they decide to head to Tijuana and stumble across a place with a pentagram on the ground but with enough open space to do more skating.  Naturally one of them is injured, bleeds, and stuff starts happening.  Cultists begin to come out of the woodwork and the skateboarders have to fight for their lives--doubly so when the cultists they kill rise again as skeletons. 

 

This one was probably the least enjoyable of the stories. The skaters had no realistic reaction to everything going on.  I mean, if a bunch of cultists came at me I think I'd be freaking out a bit.  Even more so when the cultists became skeletons.  These guys just attacked and killed the cultists without hardly even blinking/showing any emotion.  The ending was also really stupid.

 

There was also a short segment within the main segment where a perv is filming a girl undress in the back of a taxi when the girl pulls a gun and makes the perv strip before fighting over the gun.  It wasn't really anything special.

 

 

Overall..this movie wasn't that great.  I'm pretty sure this was the shortest of the three VHS movies.  I kind of hope they stop here and don't try to make any more but if they do decide to make more they really need to stop and think stuff through more.  The main plot line made almost no sense at all and was pretty boring/weak to carry the film.  It's definitely more disappointing to me after how much of an improvement #2 was.

 

On the bright side, there's no full on nudity in this one (well, the Parallel Monsters had something but it wasn't human, lol) so I probably could show this one for Bad Movie Monday sometime if I get desperate for something to watch.

 

Rating: 5/10